An Ode to Team Fortress

I like to play Team Fortress
I play each and every day
I’ll like it till I’m withered,
Till I’m wrinkly-old and gray

I should like to be a soldier
Running wild through the war
And with rockets at my shoulder
You can bank on blood and gore

Or sometimes I’m a secret spy
I take on other faces
I’ll backstab you, then disappear
To distant, safer places

An engineer will kill you
With a sentry at his side
He’ll teleport and heal you,
And with shotgun, will abide

Demomen are stupid
Armed with silly, sticky bombs
And pryos are all cowards
Who still live with all their moms

A wise man fears the sniper
And the damage he can deal
A fool will choose the medic
Who can go around and heal

Oh, let’s not forget the heavy
With his chaingun booming loud
Screaming laughter over gunfire
Makes all his teammates proud

And finally, there is of course
The scout, who runs with speed
His double-barreled punishment
Will stipulate his lead

Team Fortress is a lover
How I smell her tender hair
A silly game like Shadowrun
Could never quite compare

To the funness of Team Fortress
To imaginative maps
To the fury of raw combat
To the little tricks and traps

That reduce dumb games like Halo,
Shadowrun or Mass Effect
To the generic common drivel
That smart people will reject

If you're all about the graphics
If you're all about what's new
Like a sheep that's being herded
Or a dog that barks on cue

Then you my friend will never
Have an innovative mind
Or the courage to look inward
And to face what you will find

Team Fortress, I am but your slave
To do with as you please
I think it's time to log right in
And pwn some n00bs with ease.