Kidney Stones

Many of you may have noticed that My Nemesis is loosely auto-biographical. Each of the characters is based on someone I know, with artistic liberties taken to maximize the funnyosity of the moment.

Last week, "Rob" went into the hospital with bi-lateral kidney stones. This means he has a variety of tiny, sharp objects made from calcium deposits lodged in each of his kidneys and both of his ureters, which are tubes that connect your kidneys to your bladder. For your benefit, I've constructed this anatomically accurate diagram:

Rob had to undergo a surgery which installed plastic tubes in his ureters to hold the them open, allowing the stones to pass unobstructed. To accomplish this, they had to go in with a camera and other tools up his penis. Fortunately he was unconscious for this. Unfortunately, once the stones are out and the tubes have to be removed, he will be awake for the procedure.

I can't really imagine how scary surgery is. I've never broken a bone or even had a cavity, so my experience with hospitals is minimal. But it takes guts, no pun intended, to lay on a table and let some asshole who deep down probably doesn't give a shit poke around inside me with metal prongs, all the while saying "Hmmm."

I haven't seen Rob since he went into the hospital. I hope he gets his shit together soon. Somebody needs to be doing my taxes.